Gratitude 7/18/2020

I am thankful.

Thankful so many moons ago, my dad (with whom I never ever remember having any deep conversations growing up) put a book in my hands when I was about 16.  It was called The Power of Positive Thinking.  He’d just finished reading it.  I can remember him saying something to the effect like..”Junior, this would be a good book to read.”

Flash forward to today.  That conversation is still bearing fruit in my life.  I am even more convinced now that I am 60 plus years and counting in the power and importance in the attitudes I chose as I approach  today.   A large part of right thinking involves being thankful.  Finding things to be thankful for, even in the midst of chaos.  Even in the midst of heartache and not so pleasant circumstances.  Even in the midst of medical stuff.

What can I identify I can be thankful for?

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Got a call this week from someone in crisis.  Asked if I could take them to the hospital, they were in the midst of a major panic attack. Ever been around one of those?  Lot of people never have.   If you’ve not, contrary to what you might think, it’s not usually weak people that are most vulnerable, rather, it’s often times someone who is a go/ getter/ type a, never take a break, full throttle 7 days a week personality type.  Yep.

I was thankful I was able to get in touch with 2 people on the phone as I was headed to their house…a counselor I know, and a nurse I know.   Both picked up the phone. Both gave me great input as to how to proceed. I was thankful for their input. Thankful I didn’t have to fly completely blind as I took off with my friend to the hospital.

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Thankful to for a book I read 25 years ago on the coaching tips from former Green Bay Packer coach, Vince Lombardi.  I am not into food ball as funny as that might sound. I read the book because I was intrigued by his ability to motivate people.   A quote  from that  book came to mind  this week…

He said, “Football…beyond any game invented by man is closest to war…

it teaches a most important lesson of life…. 

the ability to walk through a storm and keep your head high.”

Yep,  It was a full week for me (emotionally exhausting).

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I am thankful I learned the art of weaving “margin” into my life in my late 20’s.   As a first born,  get-er-done.  Work 7 days a week/ dairy farmers son I didn’t know any different.

Life is a marathon.

It is not a sprint.

We are not meant to be “on” 7 days a week.

You will pay the piper.

Feel free to do otherwise. 🙂

Time  to play in  the shop.  Need to get ready to install another air conditioneer/ coolbot setup in the walk in cooler.

Tell me about your week.   DM

PSA.   I never know who may be reading this in the future.  If by chance you’ve stumbled across this post after googing “panic attack” etc,  Get yourself a copy of The Anxiety Cure by Archibald Hart.   

Trust me, you’ll be glad you did. 🙂

 

Ode to the blue collar man (ie. my father)

Ode: An ode is a kind of poem, usually praising something. … An ode is a form of lyric poetry — expressing emotion — and it’s usually addressed to someone or something, or it represents the poet’s musings on that person or thing.

(Long time readers may remember a version of this post from 2016.  It showed up on my “blog stats” this morning and I thought it was worth reposting. DM)

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My dad graduated high school in the early  50’s.

A local attorney  (Remley) who at one point owned the farm my dad  lived on,  offered to pick up the tab on his college tuition “because  he had a knack for math.” My grandparents were not rich.  They’d raised a family through the great depression, then after WW 2,  shipped, case after case of canned food and clothing to grandma’s relatives  back in the old country (German).. .so grandpa and grandma never really got ahead financially. Dad opted not to go to college, instead went into the service, then went to work at a packing house. After that, he started  driving a cement truck for a local cement company.   At some point, he was asked to come into the office and help behind the counter in the lumber yard portion of the business, eventually rising through the ranks to manage both the lumberyard and the concrete plant.

(Remember what I told you about math.) 🙂

In the early 1970’s dad went into business with his brother as a general contractors. They built up a multi-million dollar construction company, employed one  hundred eighty men over the course of a 30 year span, one of which was me.

This is an ode to the  blue collar man that shaped my life..

 

Ode To The Blue Collar Man

He

had

 the

hands

of a

farmer.

The heart of

a musician,

the mind of

an engineer.

But somehow..

between raising a family,

paying the bills and farming the land,

his steel guitar  got misplaced in the mix.

Life is a pendulum.Sometimes we learn

by example, and sometimes we choose

a different path.

Checking In

How are you doing this morning?

What’s it like locally where you live?

I was telling my wife this morning over coffee, one of the harder things to deal with (for me) is getting accurate information,  trying to sort the crazy rumors out from what’s really true so we can make good decisions.

I stumbled across a fresh source of news on Thursday I have good feelings about.  It’s called the Epoch Times.  They are currently running a special.  First month is only a $1.00, then after that, it’s $70 something for 6 months.  What impressed me, well one of the things that really impressed me was their coverage on the Covid-19 (the coronavirus).  They have an ongoing data base that is updated every couple of minutes with statistics on number of confirmed cases, number of deaths, broken down, by country, and state.   Crunching the numbers myself, I saw that in Italy for example the rate of death was over 8%…which is crazy.  When it comes to accurate information from China, I absolutely do not trust the information, from them or the mainstream media in our country.

Got this off their website:

    “The Epoch Times was founded in the United States in the year 2000 in response to communist repression and censorship in China. Our founders, Chinese-Americans who themselves had fled communism, sought to create an independent media to bring the world uncensored and truthful information. We are free from the influence of any government, corporation, or political party—this is what makes us different from other media organizations. Our goal is to bring our readers accurate information so they can form their own opinions about the most significant topics of our time.”

I’ll let you know in a month, whether or not we chose to subscribe.  It’s a little steep, but knowledge is power as the saying goes.

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On a local front here, I have a full morning.  Dropping off a couple of dozen farm fresh eggs to one of our regulars,  then stopping by my mom and dad’s for a cup of coffee.   Their in their 80’s so they are laying low.   At 10 I am picking up our 6 year old grandson.  He get’s to hang out with grandpa today (me), going to show him how to start tomato plants from seeds.   Then as they mature, send several of the plants home with him for him to plant and take care of and eventually show him how to save tomato seeds for next season.

After our seed starting workshop, we are going to pick up beer cans.

Home Schooling PE class at it’s finest. 🙂

Get some exercise, clean up the environment, hang out with grandpa and make money at the same time,

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Here’s a link to the Epoch Times, in case you are curious:

And finally, I’ll leave you with this…I shared it last year:

Take care. DM

Growing up on a farm

Write about what you know they say…..

Growing up on a farm shaped me in ways  I didn’t realize at the time.

Seeds were  planted that didn’t germinate until years later.

Like when you have to borrow your neighbors tractor make sure you top off the gas tank before you take it back.  And if by chance, something breaks, you  get it fixed. Take it back better than when you got it.

Everybody thinks that way, right?

Found out a few years ago, that is not always true.

We invited a young person stay with us for three months, a musician who was trying to get their bearings.  We didn’t have a spare vehicle, so I put the word out  amongst my people to see if anyone would have a spare loaner car?    Well, a few months turned into almost a year, and when it came time to return the car, our guest was incredulous that I insisted we needed to take it to the shop to get some things fixed that had started to act up.

What was I thinking?   Our guest didn’t have any extra money, plus that was a risk my friends had taken when they originally loaned the vehicle out.

Absolutely no way my guest was responsible for any repairs on that car!!!

No way.

Wasn’t going to happen.

They looked at me like I was nuts.

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I moved to the farm when I was  9.

Left the summer I graduated high school and didn’t looked back….until 19 years later…

At that point, we were in middle of raising a family of our own,  things were not going to well.  We decided we needed  to find  a place  in the country, even if we had to rent, to regain control of our lives.

It worked.

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I’ve spent several weeks again  this winter, working on our family history.  I’ve got most of the important names and dates established, going back 4 generations  and in some cases, multiple generations more. My next goal is to flesh it out with stories.  That’s  probably where some of the stirrings for this post came from.

Several of my ancestors were farmers.

Unless you grow up on a farm, you probably never gave much thought to what it is like to milk a fresh heifer (fresh heifer = young female cow who has just had her first calf) by hand? Especially when it’s fifteen times your weight,  has no interest in getting milked, because it has a case of mastitis.

Can you say RODEO?

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Ever had an old rooster come after you?  Not sure about other animals but a mean rooster can sense  if you’re afraid.  Chickens really do have a pecking order and the rooster is usually @ the top of the flock.   Depending on the bird, they may either try to fly up into your face and peck you, or grab you by the leg and rip you with his spurs.

I tell them to bring it on.

Roosters are like bullies.  You just have to let them know who is in charge.  It’s all about boundaries.

 

Dad and I with three of his roosters.

All three of them came after me that day.

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Well, I feel a nap coming on.

Definitely did not learn the art of napping growing up on the farm…just the opposite.

“Better is one hand with quietness, than two fists full, with  stress  and the chasing after the wind. ”  3000 yr old proverb.

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I have a couple of stories about  buffalo I want to write about next.  We raised them until the bull got loose.

Later!  DM

Brother and I back in the day holding a couple of farm cats

When Someone’s “Hitting” on your spouse

I ran into “Jackass” Friday at  a buy fresh workshop.  Here’s his picture: 

He mentioned he and his wife hadn’t seen us for awhile  (it’s been two years).  I’m not sure what to do with him  them relationally.   He suggested we needed to get together again.

Every time we are with them- Virtually every time  “Jackass” will say some form of …”It’s too bad you are here (meaning me ) …MM  (my wife) is who I really enjoy seeing“.   😉   (or some variation of that statement)

We’ve known this couple for 8 years.  He’s a 60 year old hippie, been married a time or two….he’s a big flirt with every attractive woman he sees…not just my wife… to be perfectly honest, for the first 5 years we knew them, I thought to myself..he’s harmless enough..that’s just “Jackass.”

Scripture talks about how the words  we use are an index of our heart…both good and bad…we give others a glimpse into our hearts by what we  talk about.

Anyway, 3 years ago, in another friendship we had as a couple…I kept insisting  that the boyfriend of my wife’s good friend was an out and out pervert.  Guys can pick up on things in other men, I swear women are sometimes blind to.   My wife wasn’t so sure,  so I  had to bite my tongue, so not to rock the boat.  One day my wife comes home and says…”You were right about Wilbur.  He is a creep.   He tried to kiss two  women who stayed over night @ so and so’s house.” 

     I wept  from  the pent up turmoil I’d been carrying for over a year. 

My wife and I had a heart to heart talk, we  both agreed “Jackass” while not cut out of the same cloth as Wilbur,  was a flirt.  Why submit our marriage to that?   So we backed  off.  It was hard because we did enjoy his wife’s company.

Have you ever had to deal with this sort of thing?

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I wrote that post in 2008 .  It touched a chord.  Had 22 people comment.

 

Yesterday, I ran into Steve as I was coming out of a local gas station.   I have been listening to his flirtatious comments toward my wife for 40 years, writing him  off as another harmless jackass.

(Every single time I run into Steve, he has something to say,  and it happens at least twice a year.  (At my wife’s last class reunion a year ago, he tried to  kiss her on the cheek).  Couple of years ago,our daughter K ran into Steve uptown. She called our place to tell us, Steve and she had talked, and he told her, he was her mom’s first kiss.  You get the idea.  Harmless, but, non stop.)

Steve  was just coming in the automatic door as I was leaving.

I knew it was coming..some, comment about my wife, I knew I needed to suck it up, write it off as harmless….

Sure enough…

“Tell your cute wife I said “hi”.”

I looked at him and before I could say, twinkle twinkle little star, a breaker must have tripped in my brain.   I could hear myself saying  “I don’t like it.  Every single time you have to make some comment.”

He looked at me, I could see his brain was trying to process what was going on.    I wasn’t smiling, I wasn’t joking, I was dead serious.  We  stepped back out of the entry so the door would shut, and continued the conversation for another 3 minutes.  (It ended on good note.)

Wife and I have been married now for 40 plus years.  We’ve talked about the Steve’s and the Jacks, and the Wilbur’s  and Tony’s, when they’ve crossed our paths for any length of time.

In a long term healthy relationship, there has to be room to have these sort of conversations.

Have you ever had to deal with this sort of thing?  Would love to hear your thoughts. DM

 

It is not my responsibility

Talk to ten carpenters and you’ll get 7 different ways to frame a house.

Same goes for bee keepers, I’ve discovered. Talk to ten bee keepers and you’ll probably hear 10 different ways to manage your bees.

Have you found that to be true, my fellow bee keepers? 🙂

My cousin approached me in July and asked if I could help him frame his house the end of October,  which is  where I have been working the past two weeks.  Cousin  asked a friend of his,  ( a finish carpenter)  to head up the crew  so my role was just to be an extra set of hands.

Pause.

On rare occasions, when I have had a new guy on my crew with a construction background, it was draining if the new guy constantly had a “better idea.”

Get’s old fast, so I have made a concerted effort to not be that guy.

I love  framing houses but the past two weeks have left me mentally exhausted.

I have felt like a race horse pulling a skid.

 

We’re getting about half as much  done that we should be and it has had been bothering the heck out of me.

My suspicion is the foreman does not have a lot of  experience managing a 5 man crew.  Compounding that is finish carpenters typically do not make good framers and vice versa…they are used to working at a certain pace.

Yesterday I got to work thinking we were going to button up the bulk of the remaining roof (snow was predicted again last night).   The first 45 minutes when it was just myself,  and a couple of helpers  we kicked butt.  One of the guys looked at me as we finished  the west hip and said, “Now that was fun!”

He knows.

45 minutes later the lead guy showed up, and that was the end of a productive day.  No additional roof went on.   I had to step back and mentally keep  telling myself,

It

is

not

my

responsibility.

 

It is not my responsibility.

 

It is not my responsibility.

 

But it’s hard when you care.

 

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Today was the last day I’ll probably be on that job.

Felt good to be home. 🙂

Anybody relate to any of this?

 

 

 

 

Pompous Experts

I keep a writing journal.

It is not for public consumption.  It is an unedited mix.  Sometime diary, catch all for articles that capture my attention,  blog posts,  personal correspondence, recipe’s, etc.  (It is several hundred thousand words long at this point.)

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I’m currently reading through Louisa May Alcott’s personal journal.  It’s one of the ways I unwind at the end of the day. I usually only read a couple of pages at a time, but for some mysterious reason, her journals have a way of grounding me…

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Anyway, in reading through my writing journal yesterday, this entry caught my eye, and I decided to share a portion of it.

5/11/2013

Pompous writing experts

…I am liking keeping a writing journal.

It taps into a different “voice” than  when I write blog posts.  There is definitely this creative pulse I feel inside that wants to escape.  I would love to hone my writing skills and yet @ the same time am not interested in getting feedback from people like S. H. or especially  M. K. who ripped a rough draft of my first book I shared with him several years ago.  

Those two well meaning “writers” were brutal and deeply wounded my spirit, causing me to second guess anything I would write….

Now I get it…writing well is definitely a craft and like teaching,  there are some fundamental principles a person wants to master to be  effective..  The trick is who is giving the feedback and in what spirit.

       I want to learn how to write  clean, crisp, honest, work.  I really do, and I know I have the humility to learn…I’ve proved it in other areas of my life.  Just give me a teacher filled with Grace – like Brenda Uhland.  I would LOVE to have sat under her mentoring.  In the mean time…I will continue to  learn.  No more pompous writing experts for me. 

None.

Nada. 

I would rather go to my grave with just this journal I’ve written for my own personal pleasure than listen to fools tell me what I’ve done wrong….

    At this stage of my life, I have no interest in telling someone else how to live their lives- whether how they raise their kids, grow a garden, tend honey bees,  or whatever-  I aspire to live quietly, to work with my hands, be dependent on no one…. Period.

Ruth Stout is my role model for mentoring others… She had it (deep mulch gardening) figured out.   She did not want to be put on some pedestal.  She just did her own thing and then reported the results, and let people make their own conclusions.

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One more thought.  While this entry is mostly about being mentored in writing, it can really apply to any area of life.  I’ve seen it played out with gardening, raising honey bees, guns, carpentry, small engine repair, computers, parenting, marriage relationships, money management, fermentation,  etc. etc.

Good mentors are hard to find.

If you have one, I’d encourage you to  let them know how much you appreciate them.

Just a thought.

Take care.

DM

 

Thoughts

My brain is a tangled up knot of thoughts this morning and has been for several weeks.  Ever cut open a golf ball?  A tight mass of rubber bands.  Yep, that’s my brain.

Job related thoughts.

Honey extracting thoughts.

Relationships thoughts.

Ordering Your Private World  thoughts.

Early morning thoughts when I hear  crows talking to each other in the distance.

Photography thoughts.

Fermentation thoughts.

Gardening thoughts.

Henry David Thoreau thoughts.

Louisa May Alcott thoughts.

Older parent thoughts.

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Think I’ll just post a quote call it good.

 

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.”

― Henry David Thoreau

 

Of Grit and Bone 7/8/19

Jason, his son Josh and I were building a deck today.  As we were having  coffee,  Jason’s phone rang.  I could hear him talking to someone about his birthday. which is this week.

“How old will you be?” I asked him when he got off the phone.

“Forty eight.”

Out of the blue, Josh looks at me and asked “How old are you”?

“Sixty one.” 

“No way, he said.  I thought you were about fifty.”

Ah, the simple things in life….

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There are so many things that can factor into aging well, especially the mental component.

Right at the top of my list is a sense of humor.

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About 13 years ago, I cut off the tip of my ring finger with a skill saw.  As a large African American lady was wheeling me down the hallway  to the operating room, we got to talking.

She asked me what had happened?.

“Oh, I cut the tip of my finger off with a saw, “I said with a smirk.

“Oh! Don’t tell me that!” she said.

(I can still hear her southern drawl in my head).

“Yep, one of the guys found it and brought it to the hospital, just in case  they can sew it back on.”

“Don’t tell me that!” she said again.

“Yep, and it’s here in this bowl” (I had a metal bowl on my lap with that little chunk of my finger).

“Don’t tell me that!”

I smiled,

She smiled.

A sense of humor can go along way in a medical situation.

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Read the following this week and posted it on facebook:

“A well developed sense of humor reveals a well-balanced personality….the ability to get a laugh out of everyday situations is a safety valve. It rids us of tensions and worries that could otherwise damage your health….you think I’m exaggerating the benefits?

Maybe you’ve forgotten this proverb: “A joyful heart is good medicine…”

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And finally…work keeps coming in. (Which is why I have not been doing as much writing).

The bee split was a success.

Had our first new potatoes this weekend from the garden.

Decided to re-fire up our Bed and Breakfast for a little extra income.  Just about ready to reopen the doors.

95% of the people we’ve had stay, were not looking for the  B and B experience as much as just a place to stay.

Well, about time to call it a day.

Thanks for stopping by. DM

 

 

Saw it at the auto parts store

I was running late.

Had just a couple of minutes before I had to head back to class, figured I had just enough time to get the part.

Walked in the door of our local auto parts store. Two guys behind the counter and  three people in line.

I felt a tight knot in my stomach.

I had tried to squeeze too many things in.  Had not yet learned the importance of building margin into my schedule.

Then I saw it…. a sign on the wall, about the size of a piece of typing paper.

It put everything into perspective.

I left the store without the part that day.

I first encountered that sign 45 years ago, and to this day I still refer to it in my personal dealings with people…..

 

Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part

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Agreed to help another carpenter with a large project this past fall. The project meant a couple of months of steady work/ great pay… At the last minute, the financing fell through.  I had scheduled my fall work around that job, and suddenly found myself scrambling to stay busy….

It happens.

Same project was rescheduled to start this Spring.  I was told, it would be ready for us, late May/ early June…  then got bumped back to first week of July…then 3 weeks ago, we got an e-mail that they wouldn’t be ready for us until early August.

Right about that time, Paul approached me about finishing off their basement, and since I wasn’t going to be needed until early August, it fit perfectly into my schedule.  Lined up an electrician,  a plumber and a drywall finisher.

Start date July 1st.

Got a phone call on Monday…the large project will be ready mid July. (Not early August).

It took me a little bit to sort this one through.  Keeping my word is important to me, and I had given my word to the other carpenter that he could count on me with the large project.

Then I remembered that sign from the auto parts store.

Bet you’ll never guess where I’ll be working mid July. 🙂

Well, I have time to spray the orchard this morning.  No wind. Perfect conditions.  Currently shaping up to be the best apple crop we’ve ever had….

Take care. DM