It’s gotten easier

Here begins the story of a former rule follower.

When my wife and I decided to get married (42 years ago now) one of the spin off issues, right out of the gate was our different spiritual backgrounds. Won’t bore you with all the details, only to say, I decided to defer to her in that department, because she was worth it.

On a practical level, I was just going through the motions.

I hadn’t really given it (the spiritual component of my life) too much thought.


Until I started to.

I started asking “why?” questions.

The more I read, the more questions. I was like a coon dog on a scent.

I finally had a list of 8 to 10 questions that I needed answers to.

I made an appointment to meet with the guy who was our pastor at the time. Took my questions, along with a few handouts I’d come across along the way. He was a sharp, younger man as I recall, he really listened. By the end of our meeting, I was convinced it was time to move on. The official answers I was given that day just did not add up nor satisfy my intellectual curiosity.

The good thing was, during all of those months and weeks leading up to that meeting, I had been processing out loud. Asking my wife what about this? What about that? So by accident, she too had begun to question some of the fundamental things she had been taught from her youth.

We decided it was time to make some tough choices that we knew might not set well with some of her extended family. But staying where we was not an option.

The fear of what other people think is a snare….it’s called “The fear of man” It is a tough place to live.


10 years later, I found myself in familiar waters.

(This would have been in the early 1990’s.)

Wife was concerned, even back then, on some of the trends happening in education.

She had heard a program on the radio about home schooling, an interview with Dr Raymond and Dorothy Moore.

My first thought was, no way, no how. That’s just plain crazy talk.

Thing about marriage and parenting is, it’s a joint effort. and over the next while, she continued to read and get more information. She didn’t nag, didn’t talk too much about it, but my lack of support and encouragement, didn’t stop her from doing her own research. It finally came to a head (that whole issue of possibly home schooling our kids) With tears in her eyes, she shared her heart with me. At the end our meeting, we agreed we were not going to just jump because this was not some simple thing. We didn’t know anyone else locally at the time who was doing it. We agreed we would take the next year to learn about it, and then decide.

Looking back, that was one of the best decisions we made while the kids were in the home. Ended up doing it for 9 years. Involved the kids in the decision making process as they got older. I could write a blog post on that season of our life.

Actually I have… here.

Emotionally, those same people pleasing fears were in the air. They were in my head. Especially in the early 1990’s, there were a lot of people who thought we were nuts. We’d stepped off the deep end. We probably thought the earth was flat.

Didn’t matter.

The rule follower in me had already tasted the freedom of making decisions not based on what other people might think, but on what make sense to me intellectually after weighing the information. There are relatives to this day, who probably think we were nuts.


Got time for one more?

COVID-19 and the plethora of spin off issues and questions.

I like that word plethora. Like how it rolls off my tongue.

I have to be honest.
Up until a couple of weeks ago, I have been intellectually lazy on this one.

Hasn’t meant I haven’t been dealing with stuff, just like the rest of you, because I have. It’s just I’ve not been motivated to learn. So I’ve been quiet.

The vitriol once you step foot in the public square, feels like someone has a wood chipper outside my door. Last thing I want to do is get anywhere close to that sucker.

Then I read something in one of the McGuffey readers I bought for fun last winter… It was an essay on the value of Time and Knowledge

“The…value of mental cultivation is another weighty motive for giving attention to reading. What is it that mainly distinguishes a man from a brute? Knowledge…

Knowledge is power. It is the philosopher’s stone, the true alchemy that turns everything it touches into gold…and opens to us the treasures of the universe…”


Knowledge is power.

So I have started to peck away at the mass of information on the current virus, the history of viruses, prevention, treatment options, vaccinations, and get a working knowledge of it for myself. My baby sister is an RN, works in a local hospital. She has been a good starting place, and continues to let me ask her hard questions.

This feels familiar. Digging in. Reading, Thinking. Asking hard questions.

I will say this,

Once you step away from the wood chipper, there are some things that just do not add up.

16 thoughts on “It’s gotten easier

    • One of the things I’ve appreciated about you LA is your willingness to think, ask hard questions, not settle just because your conclusions may not be popular or fit what we’re all supposed to think. I almost e-mailed you last week with a couple of questions that I didn’t want to discuss in public..can’t remember what they are right now 🙂 but I felt you would be approachable and safe to ask them to..

      Liked by 1 person

  1. In total agreement on what you are saying.

    A story regarding schooling.
    I had a son who started schooling age 5.
    Within days his whole persona had changed from fun loving to guarded.
    I approached the school. He had been bullied by some ‘ethnically different’ kids.
    Would the public school system do anything about it? That would be a no.
    Thus I learned that public schooling was actually a gladiator school for thugs and racists.

    Next day I enlisted a friend from that ‘ethically different group’ and walked through the throng of non Christians at the school gates with my pick axe handle on my shoulder and my friend telling everyone that when I found the parents of the dog droppings that had bullied my child, I was going to beat on them. Two things happened, the bullying stopped immediately, and after telling the principal to ‘go forth and multiply’, I miraculously got my child transferred to a better school. (Even though I was told that was not possible). Pick axe 1, Public schooling 0.

    Regarding Covid.
    From the get go we treated this as a dawning pandemic of epic proportions.
    We started barrier and distance protection immediately, and worked to the idea that if any vaccine was created, at best, all it would do is lessen the effects.
    (Not too shabby for a high school equivalency I’m thinking).
    Then lock downs started and the UKGov started killing people. OAP’s first then the rest.
    All sorts of cures (Thank you Trump for the laugh about bleach) were hailed and trashed in the same breath. Rumors went CRAZY, but we just kept plodding along.

    Then the sheeple and media revolted, and suddenly politics started thinking about the fragility of their tenure and released the great unwashed. As a result we now lead Europe as #1 for deaths.

    So, we will ignore the science, carry on as always, and take jabs when offered.
    To date the only threat to us is EVERYONE ELSE who thinks ‘freedom has arrived’.
    Which is why we are not looking forward to Sunday when the last of the self tests is done.

    As for the sheeple’s “freedom for all” and antivax lot?
    I smile every time I read of a prominent member of those school of thoughts dying of something that doesn’t exist. (Ain’t I wicked!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nice come back to the principle. don’t think I’ve ever heard it put quite like that. 🙂 I can just see you strolling through that throng w/ your club. Right out of a movie .
      Regarding your sense of things w/ as you put it w/ your high school equivalency perspective. we’re in the same grouping. It is possible to be book smart and stupid @ the same time .
      Always good to hear your ruminations. Take care Paul. dm

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope you share more about what you are learning and the process. Teaching about pregnancy and childbirth for years meant having a knowledgeable background, sharing the facts as I understood them, and advocating for patient choice. We also stressed patient rights and responsibilities-meaning it was okay to refuse a procedure or treatment (patient right) but only if you took the time and fully explored all sides and options before making your decision (patient responsibility). That same process applies to any topic/decision/choice. Knowledge is power as you said Doug no matter where that final decision falls or who agrees with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree, knowledge is power. At 74 I have gleamed lots of knowledge from experiences, living in two other countries and cultures. So after my bout with covid which left me with only 30 percent of one kidney I am totally listening to my inner self, an expert on my body. I bother no one on their choice of anything..learned we will reap what we sow most times. As this point, I do not need more information…studied enough, experienced enough, reaps enough to understand the power of choice. Good post

    Liked by 1 person

  4. When my daughter was starting middle school, I was done with our children’s school. My son was starting high school at the time. We took the leap and homeschooled her for three years. I got a lot of comments, but I didn’t care. “What about socialization?” was a common question. Her swim team of 200 kids and swim meets across the nation gave her plenty of socializing. Also, not all “socializing” is good. Another comment I got was “You don’t look like a nut.” That was from a swim coach we were interviewing. Needless to say, I didn’t vote to hire him. It was a freeing feeling at the time that I’ll never forget, when I called up the school and told them she wasn’t coming back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can relate to so much of what you just said. That socialization issue was one of my bigger concerns before I got familiar w/ the various ways to approach teaching the kids as we ended up doing. I remember hearing about a couple of mothers who would not let their kids play with our kids once we made the decision. Fear and ignorance.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. On homeschooling – I think it is a great idea, if done correctly. I feel I homeschooled – even though my children attended public schools, because of all of the teaching I had to do at night, in helping them with their homework. If I had had the means to homeshool, we would have gone on field trips into the forest and to the oceans, to historical sites, it would have been so much fun for all of us.
    On COVID – oh boy – I worked everyday while everyone else was on on lockdown. I truly believe this an engineered virus – it is too smart, too adaptable and will never, ever go away – it is here to stay. On the vaccine, it was rushed, I don’t completely trust it because of that, but I had to take it – if I want to keep my job. Not long after I received it, I had to travel, and every time I went through a full-body scanner at the airport security, my injection site showed up as an a metal object. What is that all about?!

    Liked by 1 person

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