Mom’s Birthday Gift

My mom turns 85 this month.

I wasn’t sure what to get her.

What do you get for someone who doesn’t want or need more stuff?

Decided to take her out on a date.

A coffee date.

I am scheduled to pick her up tomorrow morning at 9.

Just the two of us.


I’m her first-born.

If you were to ask me to summarize my relationship with my mom in a word, I would say Confidant. (And it goes both ways.)

Confidant:  One to whom secret or private matters are disclosed.  A person with whom you confide things.

Mom lost her father when she was three.  Raised by a single mother.  Grew up during the Depression.  Told me once, “She never realized she was poor, because everybody was poor in those days.  Her grandmother helped to raise her while her mom worked. There was no social security in those days. Your family was your safety net. They ate pigeon pie.  Fish her grandpa would catch.  Her grandma has a big garden.  Took turns sharing the bath water with half a dozen other kids on the back porch every Friday night. ”

Here’s where you (my blog readers)  come in… 🙂

Mom and I will have no trouble carrying on a conversation when we are together. It never is.

BUT, I wouldn’t mind taking the opportunity to ask her a question or two about something of substance.

Any suggestions?


Early picture of my mom and three of us.


24 hours later….

Coffee date with her eldest

As it turned out, it was the perfect outing.  We did talk family history, but it wasn’t forced.  Found out mom initially went to college to become a teacher. (I never knew that.)   Two different local businessmen offered to help her out with her tuition. (Never knew that either) 🙂



22 thoughts on “Mom’s Birthday Gift

    • no chocolates for the mum 🙂 (Her and dad have to watch their sugar) Flowers are a good idea Di. I had not thought of that. Figured I was gift enough 😉


      • of course you are Doug, but in the old days, a ‘beau’ always gave his date flowers and chocolates. (BTW, if diabetic, the higher the cocoa content in the chocolate the better, so a small bar of dark 80% plus might go down well!)

        Liked by 1 person

  1. My aunt (who will be 90 next month) is the only family left on my dads side. When we get together (not nearly often enough, she’s some distance away) I dig for family history. She’s my last resource. Thankfully she’s still sharp as a tack. I actually take notes sometimes,

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love the idea of a mother-son date. As a mother, I can’t think of a better gift. As a question of substance, how about “Is there anything you wish you had done differently, or had done that you weren’t able to?” Or, “What did pigeon pie taste like?”! 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • I did actually ask her that question Jane…(anything you wish you’d done but didn’t) Turned out she went to college to become a teacher..I never ever heard about that before today… so maybe that’s where some of my impulse to teach comes from 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • thanks for the suggestions! What does it feel like to be the oldest in the family? I’ve wondered about that myself…(Have you ever written on that topic? I would love to read it if you have.


  3. Love this so much !

    Your gift of time was enough ~ I miss my Mom so very much, and what I treasure most about our relationship is that we were really good friends. We confided in each other, made each other snort with laughter and gasp with surprise.

    Your Mom looks delighted ~ perhaps you make the coffee date into a more regular occurrence — say coffee or lunch or brunch every other XXday or the first Tuesday of the month. Time is guaranteed no one.


    Liked by 1 person

    • You know, I thought about you and your mom’s relationship several times, leading up to my coffee date and even while I was sitting there.. because you have so vividly captured your relationship with your mom in your writings…Yours is probably even more intimate…I like your idea MJ…My younger sister actually takes mom out every other Friday to the casino…I envy that. It’s not about the gambling, rather just a fun mother/ daughter/ one on one get away…

      Liked by 1 person

      • well — see what she might like to do — we try to do a “brunch” event about 1 every 6 weeks with my FIL and older uncles/aunties. It’s a raucous group and a fun time, and just frequent enough that everyone looks forward to it … stories are told in spades LOL 🙂

        I am so grateful for the relationship we had and the Mother/woman she was and I will miss her always.


        Liked by 1 person

  4. Awww, I love this. And the picture. Your mom looks so sweet, and must be to have raised you! What a blessing. I know I’ve mentioned before about losing my mom in my early 20s. I feel like it was JUST at the cusp of our relationship changing into a real friendship. What an amazing blessing to have this with your mama 💕Happy birthday to her!

    Liked by 1 person

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