Reading Out Loud

Woke up this morning still laughing about a couple of Robert Fulghum stories I read out loud to Mrs DM before calling it a day last night.

We do that sometimes.

Read to each other.

My go-to author of short stories is Robert Fulghum.  Many of the stories are only a couple of pages long.  He’s got a wicked sense of humor. I highly recommend  just about anything he’s published.

Last night I picked up his book What On Earth Have I Done?

Mind if I share one of the stories with you?  It’s called Sunday Morning….

++++++++++++++++++

Sunday. Sunday morning.  Some in church. Some in bed.  Some in limbo.  Some in slow motion to nowhere in particular.  And one alone looking for a small slice of the pie of delight:

Around 8:30, cool and foggy- shifting toward warm and sunny.

Walking along a quiet street, I hear a melodious voice sing out:

“Sweetie Pie; oh, Sweetie Pie, where are you, Sweetie Pie?”

I stop and listen.  “Who? Me?”

The voice came from a porch of a house across the street.

Trees and bushes hide the front of the house.

All I can see are the bare legs of a woman who is calling.

Nice legs.

“Sweetie Pie, oh, Sweetie pie.  Where are you, Sweetie Pie?”

So, what the hell,….what harm?

“I’m over here, darling,”  I answer in my best bedroom voice.

She can’t see me either.

I’m hidden by the trees and bushes on my side of the street.

But she’s hip and sings out:

   “I hope you’ve taken your dump, she says, “Come eat your nibbles,”

Aha!  A game is afoot.

 

“The dump is done. Can I have a latte with my nibbles?”

She doesn’t back down.

“And would you like a tummy rub with that?”

She laughs.

I laugh back.

And now her shaggy little black dog has finished his dump and comes woofing across the lawn and charges up the steps.

“Come to momma,” she says, “I didn’t know you liked coffee.”

I wander down the street, and the lovely voice calls after me.

“Have a nice day, Sweetie Pie.”

I see her now.  An old lady in her nightgown waving from her porch.

Nice legs.

Nice, nimble mind, too.  She’s a player.

I walk on with the dog of my imagination running unleashed through the bushes of my brain, looking for a place to unload.

Too bad her dog came back.

I could have used a tummy rub.

Photo by Google

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Do you have a favorite author(s)?  Tell me who (and why).  Any books you’d highly recommend?

Call me old school.  I still love the feel of a good hard cover book in my hand.  Normally buy them for pennies on the dollar through Amazon books (used hardcovers).

Later!  DM

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15 thoughts on “Reading Out Loud

  1. Oh Doug, I used to read a lot. Jack Reacher (Lee Child) was my idol until they cast the midget (Tom Cruise) in the role. How can a 5’6″ actor play a character of 6’5″, regardless of the size of his ego. I haven’t picked up a JR/LC book since.
    In my teens it was Stephen King, James Herbert and John Saul, but all of those are behind me now. David Baldacci, Matthew Reilly, now they could spin a yarn. I liked Erica Spindler too, as well as Erica James and Cathy Kelly. I’m reading a Linwood Barclay book called Bad Guys. Been reading it for a while, so you can guess how impressed I am thus far. sigh

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  2. Doug, if you can find a copy, read “A woman in a polar night” by Christiane Ritter.

    From a review.
    In 1933 Christiane Ritter reluctantly followed her husband to Spitsbergen, an Arctic island north of Norway. For her, “the Arctic was just another word for freezing and forsaken solitude.” The story that follows is compelling, the writing matter-of-fact yet magical.

    SWMBO thoughtfully bought me a copy for my birthday many years ago after I kept saying how descriptive Christiane was. For 50 years plus it has always been my favorite book.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LOL…I haven’t read Fulghum in a few years, and that was a new story for me, wonderful. Yes, i read – a lot (I work in a library :)). For funny and heartwarming, I would highly recommend Stuart McLean – a Canadian radio show icon who died last year of cancer. His Dave and Morley stories are funny, sometimes hold your gut funny. Great for read aloud. https://www.vinylcafe.com/
    Also, probably harder to access in the US, but Dan Needles, another Canadian, wrote a fabulous series of one man plays chronicling life on a small farm in a small township. A book based on the plays tells the stories as a series of letters – Wingfield’s World. The humour is a little slower, takes some time to build, but good stuff, nonetheless. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/books-and-media/wingfields-world-the-complete-letters-from-wingfield-farm-by-dan-needles/article559173/
    Sticking with my unintentional Canadian humour theme, an absolute must is The Dog Who Wouldn’t Be by Farley Mowat – Farley died a couple of years ago and was one of Canada’s more famous writers, ranging from books for boys (Never Cry Wolf, Lost in the Barrens) to history (Farfarers) to conservation (A Whale for the Killing). Dog Who Wouldn’t Be was one of a trio of semi-autobiographical novels about Farley’s childhood in the 1930’s and is absolutely hilarious. . https://www.amazon.ca/Dog-Who-Wouldnt-Be/dp/0771064640
    Your library will likely be able to find Farley Mowat, and possibly one of the Vinyl Cafe books, not so sure about Dan Needles. I believe all three authors are available through Amazon.
    I’m off to put a hold on something by Fulghum, thanks for putting him in my mind!

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  4. Lol! I love the Robert Fulghum bits! It is always such a lovely treat for me when a new DM post pops up…and it’s been more often lately,right? As sometimes happens in the winter…Thanks, as always, for sharing!

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    • It has been more frequently. I have put absolute zero pressure on myself to post on the blog, prefer rather to let the writings ebb and flow as the words well up in my soul. Always fun to hear from you Lisa ! DM

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  5. P.S. Re actual paper books…I rediscovered recently just how much I love just having a good book to read. (Vs. the newspaper read online, books and posts and so on I can access online). It’s like having a good friend around at all times who wouldn’t mind stopping for 20 minutes to sit down and eat a slice of pie and drink a cup of coffee….chat and maybe touch on something real or important,maybe just colorful…something to look forward to, a small break in the day.
    A friend started a “no guilt FB book club,” very loose and flexible but various women will post, “oh I read this”– and we have sort of loosely challenged ourselves to at least read a book a month, amid our busy lives. Just having that in mind, I’m remembering to bring a book with me on the bus or subway, to have it available for a bit of reading before bed…it’s added back in just a little bit of quality of life for me. I read my way through my childhood and kind of forgot just what it means to me…but I remember now.
    And there really is nothing, for me, quite like having this dense pile of bound paper just LOADED with meaning, interest, stories, ideas, to page through. So commonplace but such a jewel to be able to access so easily, to carry with me anywhere, use anytime…

    Liked by 2 people

    • You get it 🙂 That is exactly how i also feel…I have one I am almost finished with again..just like you said..it adds something special to the day 😉

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