The Talk

The past couple of months # 1 son and I have been doing remodel  projects together, projects that he had acquired.

This past year  when #1 son came back to work part time, I was the one who has lined up the work, and he was the helper.)

I caught myself a couple of times  the past month, possibly overstepping my role.  It happened again yesterday, so I decided to breach the subject this morning.  The last thing I want to do is cause him additional work pressure.

It is one of my few pet peeves…
Working with a “know it all.”

I have traditionally hired people with little or no construction experience, intentionally.  I would rather train someone to do it my way than constantly debate how to approach a given task.  It makes for a long day.

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The process of mentoring is not an exact science.   It is a lot like parenting.

You haven’t ask, but I will give you the short version of my approach to parenting:

The goal of parenting is to work yourself out of a job.

Then, at some point,  (changing word pictures),   just like the eagle, there comes a time to “stirs the nest”  ie.  Kick  young eagle out of  nest  where it’s flap or die… 🙂

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It is important to know when to speak up and when to let the school of life kick in. I’ve always been a big advocate of letting natural consequences play themselves out.  Told my young eagles early on, with a smile on my face, that if, in the event they found themselves behind bars, not to call looking for bail money.

Some of the most powerful life lessons  are the ones not learned out of a book…but I digress.

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Now that #1 son has begun to bid and line up work, I would rather err on the side of him asking me for my input rather than just assume he is looking for “suggestions” from his all-wise father.

The conversation this morning, went refreshingly well.  Son assured me, I had not (yet) overstepped my bounds.  He had not (yet) felt frustrated with me sticking my nose where he didn’t want it.  On the contrary,  he said, and I’m quoting now,  “It is good to have several pair of eyes looking at certain situations…one person may see something another person is missing.  It happens all the time in masonry work.” 

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Here are some  action work photos from the past:

Learning to do flat work.

Teaching how to use a hand saw 20 years ago.

Flying solo, cutting tile with a wet saw and diamond blade.

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Later! DM

 

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13 thoughts on “The Talk

    • Your words remind me of some thoughts I had last time we strolled through our local cemetery…In the center of the cemetery, there are several large monuments from some of the families that were shakers and movers 100 years ago…today, as far as I know, none of their descendants live in the area…these people, their children, and their children’s children are all gone….@ some point, even those with children end up in the same boat as you described…kind of a sobering thought… as long as I live, I will always remember Paul and Di…the cool couple from over the pond..he a walking encyclopedia, and wizard of all things technical and mechanical, who loved “fresh meat, the taste of free range eggs, rabbit, home grown vegetables…” she a former number cruncher who took Mr Paul under her wing and loved him fiercely…would not put up with his stuff, hence the name SWMBO. always good to hear from you sir. DM

      Liked by 2 people

  1. My Dad never knocked anyone for trying, and was always on hand to offer advice, guidance or put things right if it badly went tits up. The classic with Hubby was ‘I wouldn’t have done it that way myself, but it works!’ Boy, how I miss him. Mum too now.

    Liked by 1 person

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