There are 106 partially completed blog posts sitting in my draft folder,with titles like Locked and Loaded, I Once Met A Model, She Lives In My Head, Russian Nesting Dolls, Reina De La, Two Pieces Of Sand, etc.
Scrolling through them this morning, the following caught my eye. I know I’ve told the story about the second cookie before, but it bears repeating…at least I think so. 😉 It has been a very good week since getting the biopsy results on Tuesday. Really touched me how many of you took the time to comment and wish me well. DM
I come home most nights physically and mentally exhausted from work.
We are re-roofing a 160 ft long cattle shed and as I mentioned to Tim Monday morning when he came in 20 minutes late, he did not have a clue as to all of the job pressures that I was under….
Concerns about the wind ripping off the #30 felt before we got it covered. If that happened,I would have to absorb the cost of material and labor to redo it.
Dealing with mud and not being able to get equipment in to where it needs to be.
Employee’s coming in late or not at all.
Cash flow pressures.
Communication and expectation issues with the customer, bla bla bla…
Some day he might understand, and when that day came, I wanted him to give me a call. 😉
I am living my life for the long haul, and yes, while this current project sucks a lot out of me, I am doing OK.
I have learned to pay attention to my inner world and pace myself.
I am so thankful my wife recognizes my need to transition when I get home and gives me space.
I know three men, all married to women who regularly put major expectations on their husband’s time after they get home from work. None of these men are what I would call couch potatoes. I was catching up with two of them recently and both casually mentioned some of the tasks their wives had saddled them with in addition to their own personal responsibilities.
I kept quiet, but inside I was thinking, you have got to be kidding me.
(I’m not talking about fixing a leak in the sink, but hours and hours of busy work.)
Years ago, Mrs DM used to take care of an elderly lady I’ll call Ann. Ann’s husband (Carl) was still very much alive. Wife’s job was mostly to do a little laundry, pick up around the house, that sort of thing. Ann was pushing mid 90’s at this point. One morning while wife was sitting in the chair talking with Ann, Carl starts grilling Ann about the 2nd cookie he suspects she has eaten that morning…..
A second cookie!!!
Now I get it. She didn’t have an active life style and cookies = empty calories =weight gain. The other side of the equation was Ann was still 100% still in her right mind, she didn’t have long to live, and cookies were one of the few pleasures she could enjoy.
To this day, that exchange comes up in our home. If either one of feels the other is over stepping their bounds with the other, we will bring up Carl and micro-managing the cookie count.
This same issue could just as easily surface between a parent and their older child, or a child and their aging parent.
Boundaries, and imposing my will on the will of someone else who is of sound mind and body, “in the name of love.”
If you are reading this and happen to fall into the camp of being a controller,
I have two words for you…
PS. If you are on the receiving end of a controlling personality, and need to talk, feel free to leave a comment and or question. I have a great readership base here, with lots of insight. DM