Wrong Signals

Two quick stories….

Two weeks ago, my wife had her high school class reunion.  The night of the dinner/ dance,  Nancy, (one of the organizers) asked my wife if she wouldn’t mind dressing up in a fancy gown and wearing a tiara. One of my wife’s jobs was to  hand out drink tickets and greet people as they arrived.  Several of the organizers were going to dress up in clothes from the 70’s…  Wife had been elected home-coming queen her senior year, and Nancy thought it would be fun to have her do this… Wife does not like to be in the lime light, but said, she’d do it as a good sport….

Well, the next morning as we got ready for a school tour, Jerry, one of the guys from her class commented on how much of a flirt she was the night before.  His comment took my wife off guard and by surprise.   Knowing my wife’s heart as well as I do, after 30 some years of marriage,  a flirt-er she is not.    A kinder, more thoughtful person you will not meet…but what Jerry her classmate took for flirting was her trying to be a good sport.

Pause.

I have been working on a remodel job the past month for a very challenging and difficult person.  Angry, PTSD, verbally abusive,  the word bully came to mind the first week I was there….I am used to dealing with a wide range of personality types, love my job, felt very comfortable with the things we were doing to his house, so all of the negative energy, was going right past me…until the 2nd week in.   The guy started dropping homosexual comments in my direction.

It creeped me out.

A few of you have written about this sort of thing in your blogs and how a sense of humor can go along ways to diffuse sexual comments.  Well, after the “sense of humor/ ignore it” approach didn’t work, I finally laid the law down last Friday.

If I hear another perverted comment in my direction, I am walking off the job.  Period.

Me having a positive, can-do attitude  and being a good listener was somehow getting misconstrued into only God knows what…

It made me mad.

Because I am the father of 3  daughters  and have heard  (after the fact) multiple situations where they were harassed, more than once, I wanted to straighten out a set of kneecaps with a baseball bat… (in love mind you)  🙂

This sort of stuff gets wearisome .

We live in a sexually saturated culture.  I get that.

Mostly writing this out to vent.

Very thankful I don’t have to put up with it every day.

Later! DM

__________________________________________

And on a completely unrelated note… here’s a short video I filmed this week in the garden.  We had a heavy dew that morning and a spiderweb caught my eye. I grabbed the camera to take a few pictures….

It is so peaceful out there.

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12 thoughts on “Wrong Signals

  1. Yeah guys like that tick me off too. That was the customer acting like that? Small hearted, small minded people always need to feel like they hold power over others.
    If you react, then they’re all, “ooh, we touched a nerve!” or some other crap, as if they were needling close to the truth. When in reality, the bully bringing up these topics gives up the true contents of their mind… Theyre the ones embodying their accusations. Oh well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, that was the customer…. I love being the age I am now…when I was younger this sort of thing would have vexed me more…but after raising 4 teenagers into adulthood, and a few other issues I have had to address head on, I am not the doormat I was in my early 20’s. It feels good 🙂 DM

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Martha! Boundaries are so important…. and the lack there of can be so, so draining. I think you need to write a blog post about them 😉 thanks for taking the time to leave a comment! 🙂 DM

      Like

  2. That’s the problem nowadays.
    The gender and sexuality identity sickness.
    In the good old days there was man and woman.
    Life was simple.
    Now there is he, she, it, maybe, straight, wavy in the middle, the edges, or whatever.
    All with the limp version of modern laws to ‘protect them’.

    Having worked port and event security, mainly personal search, you meet all sorts.
    Some got me washing my hands despite wearing gloves!
    As for dealing with women claiming to be males and visa versa !?! YEUK!
    Our girls wouldn’t search them, we guys refused as well, all claiming self protection (i.e. to prevent accusations of inappropriate search).
    As a result the many different types usually kicked off screaming about their rights, and all got arrested. That bit I liked.

    As for those overt homosexual approaches?
    I really love my 14 inch heavy duty maglite and those steps which some people always trip over. 😉

    I’ve got zero tolerance for any of them.

    Like

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