I hesitate to write when I’m in the state of mind I am of late. I am battling a mixture of anger, shame and fear, springing from financial pressure which leaves me in a low grade funk.
But then I think to myself, many (not all) of my long time readers initially stumbled across this blog after reading a deeper/ darker entry.
So if you’re looking for light, positive, and sanitized, you’ve come to the wrong place. 🙂
My mind has been on priorities and choices I made twenty years ago when our kids were young and still in the house.
When our kids were little, my wife and I used to argue about the use of my time, money, work, etc. We knew better than to attack and cut each other apart with our words. but it never felt like anything got resolved.
Nothing changed….until that one day.
I heard her.
Through tears she said: ” I need more of you and your energy helping me raise our kids.” We had three under seven and a newborn at the time…how in the heck she made it that long I will never know. I wasn’t intentionally trying to be negligent. I just didn’t know any better.
I have only so much energy.
You have only so much energy.
We all get to choose how to spend it. I can spend it on my job. I can spend it on myself. (blogging, hobbies, etc) I can spend it on being a do-gooder and attempt to change the world. I can spend it keeping other people happy. etc. The list is long.
Energy = life.
I decided, I needed to have more
energy life left over at the end of the day, even if that meant less income.
This is how I view all relationships:
Relationships are like plants. Tend them. Water them. Weed them.
Or watch them die.
I have a new screen saver on the computer…
It gives me joy every time I look at it.
“Behold, children are a gift …
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
How blessed, (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whose quiver is full of them.”
3000 year old proverb
I am a rich man.
Even if that hasn’t translated into more dollars in the bank. 🙂