Priorities

I hesitate to write when I’m in the state of mind I am of late.  I am battling  a mixture of anger, shame and fear, springing from financial pressure which leaves me in a low grade funk.

But then I think to myself, many (not all)  of my long time readers initially stumbled across this blog  after reading a deeper/ darker entry.

So  if you’re looking for light, positive, and sanitized, you’ve come to the wrong place. 🙂

____________________________

My mind has been on priorities and choices I made  twenty years ago when our kids were young and still in the house.

When our kids were little, my wife and I used to argue about  the use of my time, money, work, etc.  We knew better than to attack and cut each other apart with our words. but it never felt like anything got resolved.

Nothing changed….until that one day.

I heard her.

Through tears she said:  ” I need more of you and your energy helping me  raise our  kids.”  We had three under seven and a newborn at the time…how in the heck she made it that long I will never know.  I wasn’t intentionally trying to be negligent.  I just didn’t know any better.

family photo

Pause.

I have only so much energy.

You have only so much energy.

We all get to choose how to spend it. I can spend it on my job. I can spend it on myself. (blogging, hobbies, etc)  I can spend it on being a do-gooder and attempt to change the world.  I can spend it keeping other people happy. etc.   The list is long.

Energy = life.

I decided, I needed to  have more energy  life left over at the end of the day, even if that meant less income.

This is how I view all relationships:

Relationships are  like  plants.  Tend them.  Water them.  Weed them.

Or watch them die.

I have a new screen saver on the computer…

It gives me joy every time I look at it.

 

immediate family - Copy

“Behold, children are a gift …
The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.

How blessed, (happy, fortunate, to be envied)  is the man whose quiver is full of them.”

3000 year old proverb

__________________________

I am a rich man.

Even if that hasn’t  translated into more dollars in the bank. 🙂

 

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14 thoughts on “Priorities

    • It lifts when I remind myself how rich I am in other ways that can’t be measured in dollars. The gloom as been dogging me off and on now for weeks…it was just yesterday that I was able to articulate to myself where the gloom was coming from. That’s half the battle for me, just being able to name it. thanks for asking.

      Liked by 3 people

  1. Sometimes sharing lifts some of the struggle and burden. It may not fix anything, but it helps to give voice to whatever it is. Another blogger told me this, as I noted to her that I feel so very much like I am whining when I post about my own life right now. She was correct. Sometimes just the saying helps more than answers or anything else. I am touched by the way you and your wife have found a way to speak and reach each other, as well as the joy expressed in your photos. My children were and will always be my life. I may have messed up in other areas, but they are a constant and fill my world each day. Wishes for you, that the struggles lessen soon DM.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sometimes writing things down seems to ease the pressure and lift the gloom.
    Also getting an outside perspective can be enlightening.
    For years I struggled with my own frustrations, faliures, and sense of lacking, feeling I was responsible for everything and anything that went wrong. It made me ill, but in so doing, I had a chance to see what was really going on in my life and the outcomes were not of my doing.
    Things are so different now. Hubby is my rock, we talk about anything and everything, I am not alone and we share problems, large or small. We have our differences of opinion, but neither of us are right or wrong.
    You are right, being rich is not just about finances. We may have little, but we have enough, and more important, we have each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s the prerogative of the poor to enjoy what they share when they have so little to hold.
    Money makes life easy, or hard, whichever way you look at it.
    We’ve had money but were living to work not.working to live.
    And that dear friend is not living and it’s destructive to the soul.

    You can never have enough money but the love and companionship of a life partner is priceless. Thus I could lose everything material but still be happy with what I’ve got.
    Enjoy your life, love and family.
    Ultimately that’s all that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Boy, do I know how financial difficulties can put strain on our selves and closest relationships… I am certain you will find inner strength to deal with whatever life brings, which sometimes is not what we expect or wish. No money can replace family and friends. You are indeed so rich.
    We travelled and visited so many of our family and friends this summer and had many valuable lessons of the importance of family. I am sending my wishes and thoughts for your difficulties to be over soon.
    Kristina

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ll come here to this blog every week for your light AND for your dark. And I never want “sanitized”! I’ll take it all though, love your writing. I actually feel uplifted by this post though. And the pictures are beautiful!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am an awesome framer/ project manager (not bragging/ just stating the truth) 🙂 I ran into a client from last Fall @ a local antique store on Friday with whom I worked for, for several months…she came up and gave me a big hug..if that tells you anything.. 😉 Thanks for your kind words Jane. Always enjoy hearing from you. DM

      Liked by 1 person

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