Crossroads

crossroads

My cell phone rang Wednesday night.

 “Why didn’t you stop by our table to at least say hi? ” Jerry said in a slightly accusatory tone.

This past Wednesday, our  family got together to celebrate  mom’s 82nd birthday.  We went to the local Chinese restaurant and  had the place to ourselves.  My sister told me Ling closed the restaurant  for everything except take out orders so she could give my mom her full attention.  (She (Ling) adores my mom.)

A couple we knew not with our party did come in and grabbed a booth.  I really haven’t seen much of them for several years.  Last time I did a little work for him, (Jerry) I sensed some tension.   I probably should have asked him about it, but we don’t run in the same circles anymore and I blew it off.

I had reached out to Jerry via a Facebook message to his wife last Fall, just to tell him “hi”  (Jerry is not on line, but she is occasionally.)  I got a snarky response from her, which just added to my suspicion that something had happened.

When I saw them come into the restaurant I waved and say “hi” but I’ve never been good at “schmoozing” when it comes time to leave somewhere.  (My preference is to slip out quietly.)

Wednesday night was no exception.

I was surprised when I saw Jerry’s name come up on my screen Wednesday evening.  I did apologize for not taking the time to stop @ their table however.

Friday afternoon, Jerry called again.   He asked if I had any plans and  wondered if I would be interested in tagging along visit his brother (whom I know) in a nursing home, a good hour from here.  From there, he planned to stop by a High School wrestling tournament.

It would be late by the time we got home….

I hesitated.

First I am behind on work in my shop.

Secondly, I am not a night owl. (remember..I am a finch).

But at the same time, I sensed this relationship was at a crossroads.

What the heck, I told him I’d go.

I’m glad I did.

Seeing his brother Mark hunkered over in a wheel chair from Parkinson’s disease,  was a shock. Mark’s disease has progressed since I last saw him.  He can no longer live at home with his wife because she is unable to safely take care of him.

I could only understand a fraction of what he said.  I didn’t realize Parkinson’s could do things like that. I just figured it caused  tremors that  can be controlled somewhat with medicine. Boy was I wrong.

We stuck around for an hour.

I pushed Mark through the food line @ the nursing home before we left.  In the past I would have been self conscious.  I think I’m getting older because it didn’t bother me in the least.  I came away from that visit, sobered and thankful.

We just never know.

After we left we drove to the wrestling tournament (about 1/2 hour away)  I wrestled my 8th grade year in school. Brought back memories of  “cotton mouth.”

You’ve never lived until you are one on one with someone intent on putting you on your back in front of a gymnasium full of your peers.

Would love to hear your thoughts on crossroads in your relationships.

 

Well, time to call it a wrap.  DM

 

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6 thoughts on “Crossroads

  1. Interesting.
    Much like friendship, relationships of all types rarely balance out even .
    The other person always expects that little bit more of you.
    Only somehow you are meant to know that and when you don’t, you’re always in the wrong.

    Thus after a while you cotton on to why your elders gave you this advice.
    Even if you are married, the other person doesn’t own or know your mind.
    You just choose to walk side by side until you or they don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

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