Normal

Had some snuggle time with three grand babies yesterday..Owen, Alcina, and Kasen.   (Our extended family got together for a Thanksgiving meal.)

I am a rich man.

Kasen, who turned one this past June,  was born with an extra chromosome.

When Kasen arrived at my sisters house, he was all  smiles,  doing some  sign language,  army crawling,  playing catch with a tiny brown, soft rubber football, etc.   One of the characteristics of Downs Syndrome children is they tend to be happy and good-natured.   This is not a hard and fast rule but Kasen definitely falls into that camp.

As our Thanksgiving family time began to wind down, I got down to play with Kasen one more time before it was time  to go.  His eyes teared up, and his smile vanished.

At first I thought, maybe I’d startled him, so I passed him over to Uncle Steve..I didn’t want to be the bad guy . 😉

Daughter Kathy informed us, it was way past Kasen’s nap time, and he was getting fussy.

I was relieved to know I hadn’t brought it on, it was simply time for him to take a break.

As upbeat and positive as Kasen  normally is…there is a limit.

Read a true story yesterday about a family who lost their only son because of a freak accident in a high school football game.  The dad recounted how afterwards, he was so beside himself with grief, that for days he could not even get out of bed..and there were several weeks he could not even go back to work.  (that is not the first time I’ve read about someone unable to get out of bed as they were broadsided by a loss)…  (I take notes on stuff like this, because it helps me to understand the wide range of what are normal human reactions to life experiences.)

Not sure where you are at as you’re reading this..but if you’re not you’re normal upbeat self,  I am pretty sure Kasen would tell you (if he could) that maybe it’s nap time?

Or, maybe because of what you have had on your plate, you’ll need to take a whole day, or week, or longer  to recover….

There is no shame in getting grumpy.  It means you are alive.

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Picture of Kasen when he’s on his game.

 

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16 thoughts on “Normal

  1. Lovely little boy. My cousin had Down’s Syndrome, but sadly I never got to know him as attitudes were so different then.
    Hubby and I made a deal when we got married that we were allowed to have our off days (me more than him actually), just not together. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The post festivity melt down is so common with the younger crowd, and if we are willing to admit it, just as common to the older set as well I think. Breaks are needed and allowed, no matter who is in need. Kasen looks like an amazing boy and I bet before the weariness of family togetherness got the better of him, he was loving his time with grandpa.

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    • I am a confirmed napper.. I did not grow up in a home where napping was encouraged.,..dad would say,…”You can sleep when you’re dead.” I asked my mom last week about napping..didn’t want to pop into their home unannounced in case they were taking a snooze. Mom told me neither one of them are nappers…so as you can see, this has been a learned habit. 🙂

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  3. I’ve been grumpy a lot lately. I’ve been ashamed that it’s during the holidays.
    I needed someone, Thank you DM, for giving me permission. It’s all I needed, for someone who’s thought’s I respect and admire, to say it’s okay.

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    • I went to a men’s retreat a couple of years ago now and came home with a little exercise that we continue to practice in our home to this day…we call it “checking in” Here is how it works…you find someone you respect and tell them you are “checking in” sharing with them exactly what you are thinking, what you are feeling, etc. not the sanitized version, but the unvarnished truth. (ie. I am not feeling very nice right now, in fact, I am feeling lonely and depressed because ________. ) The other person who knows it’s not their business to judge you, rather they are just to listen and attempt to really enter in as best they can…then just say something like “bless you” (which means, thanks for trusting me enough to share the real you… etc. etc.) It is amazing how liberating and affirming, freeing and powerful that little simple exercise can be when you start to practice it…(All of us sputter at times 🙂 Heck, I’ve been snorting around myself most of today and I know this stuff)…Anyway, Susan..Bless you! Your honest words are one of the highlights of my day. DM

      Like

      • I have a couple of coworkers I can do this with. I think I have a fear that if I am not always upbeat, the people around me will back away. My little sister has even commented to my parents that most of my posts are sad and she doesn’t like reading so much sad stuff, geez, it’s just real stuff. Thanks DM, got some healthy tears going here. They needed to come out!

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  4. I have a friend who says, quite seriously, that she’s been blessed with a Down syndrome child. He just graduated from high school this year, and was homecoming king! The old limits don’t apply any more — at least, not as much as they did. There’s a great future waiting for your little one.

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