The Old German Who Lives in my head

“Those old Germans were all about the money. 

I remember working for a neighbor all summer.  Long days, milking by hand. Field work with horses.  Finally, one day while the old man  was in town, I decided I’d had enough.  Went to the house and told his wife I was quitting.  She looked at me with kind eyes and told me she didn’t know how I’d put up with it that long….

Couple of weeks later, I came back with my dad to collect my summer wages.  The old farmer gave the money to my dad and I never saw a cent….”  from a recent conversation I had at a family get-to-gether talking w/ Lewis


This morning for breakfast, as I spread the home made wild black raspberry, strawberry and apple jelly I made myself  over the three pancakes, I was feeling blessed and centered.

One second later, a negative gruff voice was  telling me “Yea but, you should have been out  earning money , instead of messing around in the kitchen like an old woman making jelly.”

I stopped and thought about that for a minute.

Michelle challenged me last week to pay attention to some of the self talk in my head so I tried.

I asked myself, …

At the end of my life, am I going to measure the  success of how I lived my life based upon the number of dollars in my bank account?

Can I be really really honest with you? 😉

Right now, there is a real part of me that thinks I will…

especially when I am tempted to compare myself to my siblings.

I am the first-born.   I have 2 siblings in particular who both seem to have an  innate ability to make money.  I’m not saying they are greedy.  I don’t sense that.  I do know both are into rental properties, managing multiple businesses.etc and seemingly doing quite well.

I on the other hand,  have a really detached attitude about the stuff. (money)  I want to have the options that financial soundness can bring, but at the same time, I also consider the issue of stress when making financial decisions.

I am not a big risk taker when it comes to borrowing money, etc.

There is something all of us have called our stress quotient.

I took a test to measure it at one point and scored really low on the stress quotient.

Low meaning, I should not be building high risk spec houses or investing any money in high risk investments.  My personality is more suited to playing it safe.

The more I pay attention to the amount of self-imposed stress in my life the better I feel.

Here’s a picture of the old duffer who lives in my head:

old german

The old cuss that lives in my head

How about you?  Do you have anybody living in your head that reminds you of this mean old German that lives in my head?

If you do, what sort of things does he (or she) like to nag you about?

What do you tell yourself when you hear the nagging?

Any suggestions for getting rid of him or do I just have to live with him and make the best of it?


9 thoughts on “The Old German Who Lives in my head

  1. Devoting myself to a work that has meaning helps. It is pretty easy to get caught up in the “desire for more”. And “more” can be completely fine when you have defined what more is for you and how you intend to use it. More service to your community, or even money to an end. There is no rule that says you need to be a pauper. But think of the capital you do have. Friends, employees, church, community and money too. The end goal is the trick of it. How you intend to use that capital, invest it, and spend it. I think it is funny that you have an old miser in your head when in fact you clearly give so much. So tell that old man to geh weg and enjoy your jam.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now you’ve got me pondering just how rich I really am in the other areas of my life…relationally, I am rich. In my relationship w/ my immediate family..wife, children, parents, and siblings…rich! Spiritually, I feel rich. I love my vocation, and have enjoyed it for close to 40 yrs. just about out of debt except for a car payment and a little I owe on my work shop I’m feeling fortunate in that department…health wise, still running on all cylinders…Your comment Michael, is helps me to get the right perspective (again). It’s not that I don’t know this stuff intellectually, but for some reason it doesn’t always translate into how I feel on an emotional level. Danka!...DM


  2. There aren’t any voices in my head these days, at least none that aren’t just me, speaking in dialect. But I did happen to write a post five years ago that addresses this directly. I thought about reposting it this year, since it is a Lenten post. But I decided not to, because it really is a part of the past, and not the present.

    Still, you might enjoy it. Besides, who doesn’t love a little Bon Jovi?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My Grandma does — she made and preserved everything. I’ve probably got more around than I need b/c she never wasted a thing. Mom repurposed long before that was a buzz word. I want financial peace over more stuff. Nearly there DM!! 🙂 MJ

    Liked by 1 person

    • You have me curious about your grandma…did she immigrate to Canada..or what is her background? Second thing I have been aware of this winter as been doing some reading and looking @ the depression…I am beginning to understand just how powerfully that would have impacted a person (ie. save/ reuse/ no money being frugal wasn’t an option.)..and once the pressure of the depression left..your soul would have been forever marked by the deprivation.


      • No, she was born in the Maritimes (Prince Edward Island) to Scottish parents. But she was a teen in WW I and had her first child, my Dad, in 1926. Then came the Depression … and you’re right, once you’ve survived that time it would have been hard to change your ways. She and Grandpa were very frugal and saved well into their 90s. They did for all of us as well as they could. I miss her .. and her wonderful cooking, she was my cooking mentor 🙂 MJ

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the photo of the “old cuss”. Got me thinking…what does the voice in my head look like? A naggy old woman who is never sastisfied, nothing I do is ever good enough, I think she is swatting me with her broom…ouch!…ick! Get her out! Ger her out!

    Liked by 1 person

    • love it. I think it would be fun if you got on line and tried to find a picture you can put with that naggy old woman in your head… let me know when you do. I want to see what she looks like 🙂 DM


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